Clowning Around

Fete had a great write up in the San Francisco Chronical this week and hearty thanks to Laura Thomas for reaching out to me to "get the story."

The response to the article was tremendous: not only did we sell out of those fabulous linen pillows, and have a run on the amaryllis bulbs, but I also heard from a former colleague at The Santa Fe Opera and now feel well caught up on the goings-on of that very special opera company.

If any of your are opera lovers, I recommend a visit to Santa Fe. The Company's Opening Weekend (generally the last week in June or first weekend in July) is sure to enchant with the incomparable Opera Ball. For those of you who are the type that think nothing of traveling to Seattle to catch The Ring, then the time to visit The Santa Fe Opera is during the latter half of the season when the Company presents its American premiere. Go. You won't regret it.

And don't forget to indulge with a visit to Ten Thousand Waves when you're there.

Wishes....

We Wish You a Merry Wishmas
There seems to be a fallow period, a lull, a lacunae (isn't that a great word? I hope I spelled it correctly) that falls somewhere between Thanksgiving and Christmas. For me, it seems to be a period where I reflect on the year that is rapidly coming to a close and the new one that is gathering speed and will land upon one's doorstep in a matter of weeks. Which brings me to all those things I wish for, my own bundle of hope for starting the year anew.

I was going to list here some of the things I wish for, but realized there are so many and yet only one wish I make to myself year-after-year it almost seems ludicrous to admit to it. Or admit to failing at it, is perhaps more accurate. Year-after-year I have wished to write more letters to people I care about. Yep, that's the simple goal. Nothing as demanding as training to run a marathon, learning to speak French, losing 10, 15, 20 pounds. My humble goal was and is simply to write letters.
To fail so miserably at this task required some revised goal-setting as in setting the bar lower, much lower. So the goal was then revised to writing one letter a month, and that was then revised the following year to joting a note, sending a greeting card which was then further revised to initialling a post-it-note and sticking it on an clever article or cartoon and sending THAT in place of said letter. I simply wanted to let people know I was thinking of them in some way that didn't involve email or the telephone. And truth be told, I fail pretty miserably at that, too. The biggest irony is that I set goals for myself and then work away at them like a dog with a bone until I achieve the goal -- and yet this simple one, perhaps the simplest of all, is my personal bete noire.

So hear I sit once again on the boundry of a new year wondering if I should just admit defeat and think of a new wish. Or hope against all evidence to the contrary that this year will be different.

How about you? Any unfulfilled wishes that might come true for you? Jot a note, send a card, write a letter, post to the blog -- and let me know.

Jackie

The March of The Snowmen

These candy boxes -- like the dogs in the photo below -- are whimsical gifts for friends, family, co-workers. When I worked at a real job (i.e. in an office, with benefits) there was always a generous colleague who would have a stash of CANDY on her desk and delight in sharing it with those of us who liked to pilfer. Ah what little acts of mercy our colleagues show us when our sugar level is low. My favorite candy dispensing colleague was by far BB who used to bring in DARK CHOCOLATE. I nominate her for sainthood.

Do you have someone who is a treat and shares the treats? Why not give them something sweet in return?

Minding Your (Corporate) Ps & Q's

Dear Friends with Real Jobs,

It's that time of year again where we face the often daunting task of navigating the much beloved Corporate Christmas Party (I use the word Christmas for the alliteration, knowing "Holiday" is more politik). I, myself, have frequently been a no-show at these shindigs which is probably why I have my own store and am not rearranging the deck chairs on the Good Ship General Motors, Citicorp, Lehman Brothers....but rather rearranging the snug-fit on my regulation-orange life jacket.

Figuring out the time to arive, whom to schmooz, whom to avoid and how to balance a glass of wine mit appetizer without spilling food or drink down the front of one's carefully selected attire while keeping the conversation witty and intelligent, is a feat that can certainly be best performed by a member of Cirque d' Soliel. But acrobats we are not, simply corporate warriors trying to make sure we don't create a name for ourselves that has a life of its own. Or worse, out of a job by the New Year.

Here are my quick and dirty rules for attending your next Corporate Holiday Party:

1. Attend the party.
2. Make sure you talk to
- The CEO/ Owner or whomever's pocket is getting lighter by paying your salary; keep it brief, wish them well and even thank them for the opportunity to work in their employ -- and then move on.
- Your boss. You may have a love / hate relationship with him or her -- so grow up, put on your big boy pants and go have a conversation. Try to highlight something they did for you that helped you out (maybe they took the bullet aimed for your head?) and thank them. Don't spend too much time with either the CEO or your boss, less the knivesof the angry mob come out the Monday next for having brown-nosed.
- The assistants and gatekeepers to the above -- yes, make sure you ask them if you can refresh their drink. These positions cater to the people they support, so do the gals (sad but true, they surely are gals) a good turn and show them a small courtesy. They'll both appreciate and remember it.
- The person you hate the most, the one whom you've either been known to stab in the back or has been known to stab you in the back. Every fiber in your body will want to resist this and your ego will create lots of "perfectly reasonable" excuses of why you don't need to, but here's the reason why: working in business is a full-contact body sport and sometimes blood gets spilled. Show you are good sport, a team player, and more importantly, acknowledge that "enemies" not only play for the same team, but often create the opportunity for us to improve our own performance.
3. Show up 30 minutes later than the time for which the party is called (if you live in California) and don't be the last to leave.
4. Ladies -- it's business, so watch the length of the skirt (not too short), the cleavage revealed (none is optimal) and the height of your heels. Gentlemen, not too much aftershave, no T-shirts (I don't care if you work for South Park, its business so treat it with a modicum of respect); no torn jeans.
5. Conversation tips: guys -- in mixed company, lay off the sports metaphors and sport talk; gals - lay off the lipstick, purse, shoe talk. Remember -- you'll be a far more interesting conversationalist if you ask people about themselves rather than drone on about yourself.

Go out, have a good time and perch yourself securely on the rung of employment for having minded your corporate Ps & Q's.

Puttin' On The Dog

We love these dogs -- they make us howl with delight. They are these whimiscal porcelain "party" dogs atop a small, papier mache container. If my Grandmother were still alive, I would buy her this in a flash -- not only was she a card carrying member of the Tail Waggers Union (i.e. letting her Boxer and Chow eat ice cream from her bowl) but she had a sweet tooth. This would have been the perfect place for her stash of hard candies.

Christmas Cheer is Here!

We've decked our halls at Fete with some great gifts from $5.00 to $50.00 -- if you see something you like, give us a call and we'll do our best to help you.

This set of 4 mugs is a great idea for any Mother (Good Ol' Moms to Mothers-in-Law to Mommy Dearest) -- is practical, delightful and easy to ship and it's the next best thing to being there.

Chicken Little and The Egg

One of life's burning questions is "Which Came First? The Chicken or The Egg?" We've asked ourselves that very question at least a dozen times and while we'd love to give you the benefit of our reasoning, we thought it would be far better to have you prove it to yourself with a pair of these wind-up Chicken and Egg toys. Yes, that's right - you can wind them up and let them roar (ok, waddle is more like it) down your Thanksgiving table and see which comes first.

Go ahead and set an Egg or a Chicken as a place setting for Thanksgiving; your friends and family and guests will be charmed, amused and we promise it will be the highlight of all Thanksgivngs past and still to come.

The Ants of Wall Street

These funny little ants are made from recycled steel and are the most useful objet in getting people to laugh. We stocked the store full of them this summer and they marched out two by two

As an aside, in a former life I worked with the former Chief Accountant of the S.E.C. He is a true crusader against corporate malfeseance (the likes of which we are seeing on Wall Street with the implosion of Freddie, Fannie, AIG -- which by the way all had been handed massive fines from the SEC for cooking their books in the past few years - their downfall should have come as no surprise to anyone in D.C. or Wall Street....but that's another aside...). In any event, Lynn used to always cackle about corporate corruption saying...."you never see just ONE ant."

In honor of our country's great financial debacle, go ahead and throw a little dinner party in honor of the Ants Who Come Marching In.

Wrestling 101

According to Smythson of Bond Street (purveyor of paperly goods to the Queen and Crown of England) "Etiquette is engaged in a permanent wrestling match with progress." Rules of social behavior change. And it is the shifting landscape to "acceptable" from "just isn't done" that often creates a schism between generations, between regions, and between cultures.

One example of a generational shift in etiquette is the use of first names. This shift toward the informal from formal address is common place -- from children referring to adults by their first name to business aquaintences using first names before being invited to do so. It seems a bit silly especially in the West where everything is a bit more relaxed, but for anyone who grew up with a strict mandate to use formal address until asked to do otherwise, it can be shocking and perhaps a tad offensive to some.

Another example of an etiquette fission between regions is how much silence to allow in a conversation. In the South (for the most part) it would be untoward and bad form to drop the "conversational ball " and allow swaths of silence to intrude. Southerners herald from the great tradition of the Brits in their ability to converse, weave a fabulous story and tell a tale -- it's what adds to their considerable charm. Conversation is an art form they've mastered well. Contrast this with the West, where the space is vast and the land arid. We typically like some space in our conversations to allow for consideration, rummination and thought. To find onesself engaged in a continual verbal volley is considered "bad form" and outright intrusive. We like our space in all its forms and guises.

We know how the French like to greet with a kiss on both cheeks; the Germans, with a firm handshake; the Japanese with a bow that can be slight to floor scrapping.

Living in the modern world means having to make manifold adjustments if for no other reason that to accommodate all the differences in style and substance we encounter daily. It's hard to be sure and I find I often do it with far less grace than I would hope for but what manners can offer each of us is a calming salvo of how to behave and how to respond when we aren't quite sure what do to or how to do it or what to say.

Simply put, it means living in the present and paying attention and having an open heart and mind.

The recipe I like to use (especially when I have a full cupboard of ingredients) is a cup of gratitude, a measure of tolerance, a helping of paitence and a pinch or two or three of apologies, along with a topping of sincere thanks.

What's your recipe for grace and politesse? Let us know your special sauce.

(In the meantime - check out Smythson's Guide to Everyday Stationery; and anything by the great Southern writer Flannery O'Connor or the Dean of Western writing Wallace Stegner.)

New York, New York

I have a decidedly love-hate relationship with New York City. At any given moment -- and sometimes at the very same moment -- I find myself in a suspended emotional state holding both love and hate in equal balance.

Because I was staying in Time Square, in August, where the undulating sea of humanity decides to walk three-abreat down the sidewalk while they gape at the bright lights of the Big City (arrrgh), I found myself veering toward places I knew and loved to keep that love-hate thing firmly aligned.

Here are two restaurants I have come to trust as consitently reliable, offering great service, decent value and thus recommend highly:

Brasserie 100 E. 53rd 212.751.4840
I treated myself to dinner alone and reveled in a 3-course prix fix menu that cost $35.00! Brasserie offers a consistently delicious fare, excellent and unobtrusive service and a wine list that would impress anyone from Napa. Also, it's got a very sexy NYC vibe going. They've done a great job with the bar area, the lighting and you must check out the restroom!

'Cesca 164 W. 75th 212.787-1081
Another culinary home run. 'Cesca is known for its fresh pasta and it doesn't disapoint. I have dined here with my friend Henry who always brings a fabulous bottle of wine from his own cellar -- so I haven't a clue about the wine list. I can, however, vouch for the food.

That's all for now.....

This Little Piggy Goes to Market

Summer is here and the New York International Gift Fair bekons. This Fair is pure pandemonium with aisle upon aisle of merchandise --- some of which is divine and good amount of which isn't. It's a test of endurance and courage to wade through all the stuff looking for the right combination of goods for Fete.

So what do I look for? How do I know it when I see it?

I am a wayward heir of William Morris. Morris is attributed with the Arts & Crafts movement which really kicked off the Modernism. His driving philosophy was "good design for all" and that is cornerstone of my belief and one of the reasons I opened Fete. I believe that beauty is the 5th food group and something as nourishing to the soul as the 4th food group - chocolate. In all seriousness, it is just as easy to live with beauty as it is to live with shlock, so why not choose the former?

Of course, good design can be expensive but it doesn't always need to be. Thus my guiding principle for merchandise is whether or not the item is beautiful and tactile. Do I want to touch it? Is it well made? Does the design support the function ? Is there balance and proportionality? How is color used? Finally, is it something I would buy for myself ? If yes, then would I pay what I'm asking my customers to pay? If the answer is yes, then it gets on the short list.

I further winnow from the short list to make sure the items selected fit within the overall context of the store's theme: entertaining. The item must adhere to something that can be used as a party theme -- like pajamas or gardening; be a delightful hostess gift, provide a finishing touch or flourish for the at-home entertainer; or finally, serve to make one more "entertaining" through witty, ribald, well-informed conversation.

At the end of the day and what I hope for most is that every item selected is something that is timeless, beautiful and functional and will delight others as much as it does me.

"& Guested" and Other Etiquette Hieroglyphics

There is an art to being a great guest and it seems like most of us (and I include myself in this shameful group of folk) take short-cuts with our "guestiquette" - and hope no one notices we're slacking. But the short-cuts are as visible to the hostess as walking around with toilet paper stuck to the bottom of our shoe.

It's the little things that make a big impact and here's a quick run down about how to get that toilet paper off your shoe.

1. Remember to RSVP and get extra points for doing it within 7 days of receiving an invitation.
2. Show Up on Time and get an atta girl for arriving no later than 30 minutes after the time for which the party is called.
3. Were You "& Guested"? Here's where the hieroglyphics of reading invitations come in. Take a look at how the invitation was addressed. If it was to you, and you alone, then it means you alone are invited. If you were "& guested", (that is the say the envelope reads Millicent Rogers and Guest) then you were "& guested" and are welcome to bring a date. It's really easy. Now, here's where you can collect $200 while passing GO, if you were not "& guested" don't call the hostess and ask if you can bring a guest with you. There maybe be a host of reasons (pun intended) that you were not "& guested" - there could be seating or budget limitations -- and by simply assuming it's ok to show up with another person as your guest, or calling to ask if you can bring someone along with you, you put the hostess in a very odd predicament.
4. Hostess Gift. Indeed, don't show up empty handed. Bring a little something to acknowledge the effort that someone is making to entertain you. Pssst....don't bring fresh flowers, send them the day after!
5. Oh, Behave! Heck....it's a p-a-r-t-y. Put away your Blackberry, don't scream at the caterer and then root around in the refrigerator for something else to eat other than what's being served, don't switch placecards just 'cuz. Grow up, put on your big boy pants, and try to be charming, especially if it doesn't come naturally to you. Go ahead, pretend if you must and focus for an hour on something other than your neurosis or yourself. If you are a Californian, don't talk about the gains you've made in real estate. If you are from Hollywood, be here now and focus on the person to whom you are speaking -- dare to make eye contact. If you are from Silicon Valley, most of us won't understand or care who you are Twittering and who is Twittering you. If you are from Orange County, remember that everyone else in the room may not agree with your perspective on Mexicans or the merits of driving Escalades. If you are from the Bay Area, remember, not everyone may agree with you about alot of things so try not to wag a scanctimonious finger at them if you find you have differing opnions.
6. Leave on Time and get kudos for not departing early while boasting about the other parties or three to which you are heading.
7. Thank You, Vielen Dank, Merci, Gracias. It doesn't matter how you say it, but it matters that you say it -- thank you. Call. Email. Major Brownie points for sending a hand-written note.

Lest you think we've waded deep into Edith Wharton territory, I assure you we have not (more on THAT in another post). What I've described above is the bare minimum of courtesies to make sure people don't confuse you with a knuckle-scraping ape. Yes - the BARE MINIMUM.

And now that you have all these great points, how do you spend them? By returning the favor and hosting a party of your own. Go ahead and kick up your heels, make the effort for your friends, and when your heels are up in the air, make sure to check 'em for toilet paper.

Let us know how your next party turns out and whether or not your guests' etiquette has an impact on your own guestiquette.

It All Starts With The Invitation

People always ask me "what makes a great party?" and I always answer "it all starts with the invitation." The reason? Everyone uses Evite, a casually sent email missive or the telephone as their mechanism for inviting guests. This "come one, come all" method conveys to those who are invited a mix of the following information: first, you, the invitee are one of many and therefore not that important to the overall success of the event; next, I as the hostess am really too busy to take the time to properly invite you; finally, if you aren't important and I'm too busy, this party spells disaster!

As I say, if you are going to take the time to entertain, then pay attention to the details. The very first detail is the invitation. I like printed invitations sent via snail mail. Yes, they now seem to be a quaint relic of the good old days, but the reason I like them so much is threefold: 1) each person feels special and excited when opening a hand-addressed invitation; 2) it shows that you care about your guests , how you entertain, and that your soiree will be special; 3) the simple act of sending an invitation sets you apart from everyone else.

Go ahead, dare to be different! Let me know how your party turns out if you decide to send an invitation via snail mail.

More riffs to come on invitations in future posts.

Jackie